Hey Beautiful Souls! I have had so many people ask me about Shadow Work lately!
How do you start shadow work? What’s the best way to do shadow work? Is shadow work scary?
Shadow work is really light work in my books. It’s all about integrating the parts of ourselves we wish to push away because of shame, guilt, scarcity, or just being in fear. When we can love and accept the parts of ourselves we pushed away we can manifest faster, we can stand in our power and we can show up for ourselves and others in our communities.
Here is my favorite exercise to help you start your Shadow Work:
Look at yourself in the mirror and start saying all sorts of affirmations: I am healthy, I am successful, everybody loves me, I am popular with my friends, it’s ok to be me, I am loved, the Universe has my back, it’s easy to make money etc.
Notice what triggers you
Jot down in your phone/a notebook which ones made you feel uncomfortable/yucky
Use that list as a starting point for your Shadow Work
Why does a part of you feel yucky about positive things? Why does it believe negative things? How old were you when you started to believe this? Is it true?
Now love on these pieces of yourself that feel cast aside/yucky
You deserve to have good things (if accepting that feels weird/yucky to you then it sounds like you have some shadow work to do around receiving blessings)
Here are some Journal Prompts to help you with Shadow Work:
What do I believe about__________ (money, love, good karma, support, having to do things on my own, having to get others to do things for me, friendships, being “weird”, being “annoying”, being “woo-woo”, my sexual orientation, my choices, my career path, etc)
What is the story I am telling myself around these beliefs?
Is it true? Are there people out there proving me wrong? (honestly probably–there are exceptions to every rule)
Can I let go of this story?
Ask your Ego: can we rewrite a new story? Can we create a story where I am empowered and feel loved and accepted?
Can I love and accept myself more?
How would I want a friend or loved one to talk to me if I made a mistake: Now talk to yourself or write yourself a letter with all that compassion you would hope to see in a friend!
Is it 100% healed? Or is there more to think about/heal?
I love you all so much! Thanks for taking this journey with me.
Be sure to subscribe and hit the bell on my YouTube channel to see when my next video comes out. If you found some valuable tips in this video, drop me a comment below! I would love to know how you’re doing!
Why is the Ego Good. How to get your Ego to work for you instead of against you.
Ever heard of an ego death? Ego death is a state where we can temporarily transcend from a self centered perspective into a neutral or unbiased perspective. This sounds great, and for short periods of time, existing in neutrality can greatly benefit us. Unfortunately in many spiritual circles ego seems to get a bad rap. So here are 10 ways Ego is actually benefitting you more than you thing:
1. Ego is why you are still alive
Ego is known for keeping us in fear. While being in a constant state of fear is stressful and unhealthy, and definitely slows down our happy manifestations, it also serves us by keeping us tied to our bodies. There is a reason why we forget how blissful Source and the afterlife is when we incarnate here. It is because it feels so freaking awesome to be one with all of creation.
While on Earth we are living under the illusion of separation. A healthy dose of ego and fear keeps us grounded and connected to our physical form so we can live a full life, and learn the lessons we come here to learn. Ego drives our instincts. Ego works with our reptilian brain and subconscious mind to keep us alive. A natural, healthy fear of pain and dying is a blessing and part of our sacred design.
Working with ego is about keeping ego in balance with joy and bliss. We can have a healthy amount of survival-based fear and still be enlightened.
2. Ego is trying to keep you safe
Ego is a creative mastermind. It’s job is to keep us in check. In the 3D (our dimension/the physical world) there are governing laws most of us have to adhere to. Just like the Law of Attraction is working whether you are thinking about it or not, so are the laws of physics. So if you decided to jump off a building and use your arms to fly, the law of physics is still going to be at work.
Ego likes to tell us all the worst case scenarios to keep us from getting to big for our britches. Ego knows the law of gravity exists and doesn’t want you getting hurt trying to push your limits.
Yes, the downside is that left unchecked the ego goes a little too far in the fear direction, and can produce a thousand reasons why you shouldn’t follow your hopes and dreams in a second.
When you know that your dreams are achievable, like starting that business you’ve always wanted to, or taking a trip you’ve been researching for months, than the best way to keep ego in balance is to say “thanks for trying to keep me safe, but I don’t need you right now.” Let your inner self know you are safe, you’ve thought things through, and even though there may be challenges along the way, you’ve got this. Don’t be afraid to turn ego’s fear script off when you need to.
3. Ego shows us where we have work to do
Ego likes to bombard us with negative thoughts and messaging. Like I said above, much of it is in an effort to keep us safe but it can go a little to far. Next time you catch your ego regurgitating fears and insecurities, try digging a little deeper into where those fears are coming from.
Ego is the perfect gateway into do Shadow Work. Ego shows us where we can still heal and grow, so it’s worth paying attention to those negative thoughts and messages long enough to bring awareness to your thought patterns.
Our thoughts affect our emotions, which affect our behavior, which affect our life. Bringing awareness to our negative programing allows us to shift our emotions and behavior, so we can live our best life!
4. Ego helps us achieve big goals
The ego has been branded as the villain of the spirituality and self-help world. While an un-checked ego can cause negativity in our lives, Ego is actually just the self-consciousness or self recognition part of our minds.
How would we ever improve, grow, or better ourselves if our Ego wasn’t constantly thinking about ourselves? As with everything in life, there is a balancing point. Thinking about ourselves and never thinking about others leads to unhealthy relationship dynamics and can negatively affect ourselves. However maintaining a healthy relationship with our self-recognition and self-conscious part allows us to set big goals that can benefit ourselves, and others.
If you decide you want to buy a house, and our self-recognizing center (the ego) keeps reminding you how cool, or great or happy you would be once you get that house, it can help to motivate to make your dream a reality. You might make choices that are aligned with your dream because Ego is feeding you ideas about how great your life will be once you get that house.
Once you get the house and feel abundant and settled, you can share your abundance and host wonderful parties, or take in a friend who needs a place to stay. Balance in this scenario is developing our self-esteem and confidence in partnership with our Ego, so even if we don’t achieve our goal, or it takes a little longer, we still love, and accept ourselves no matter what kind of house we live in.
5. Ego is good biology
There is no point in denying part of who you are. We are spiritual beings having a biological experience (aka we live in meat-suits that we get to walk around and experience things in). There is a reason why we have evolved to be the multi-faceted beings that we are. While many animals have “selfish” or self-preserving instincts, the ego is seen as a human experience. There is a biological reason why we have evolved with it.
Just like there is a reason why we have developed dexterous hand-functioning, we developed tools, and intricate social structures, we have also evolved to have multi-faceted minds. Denying a whole part of ourselves feels like the opposite of enlightened. There is a difference between not letting your ego control you and being aware that your ego is not the sole essence of who you are, and trying to get rid of a whole part of yourself.
6. Ego is a part of the reason why we incarnated to Earth
There is a reason why you decided to come to Earth, as a human, at this time in history. There are hundreds of other planets you could have incarnated to.
I have been an Akashic Records Reader and Healer for 10 years. The Akashic Records holds the information for all the lifetimes ever lived in the Universe. There are places you could have incarnated to with less contrast, less traumas & dramas, and no ego. Those places are light and ethereal, but they can become boring quickly to our over-soul/higher self.
Earth is one of the toughest “schools” in the Universe. It is one of the densest places, in one of the densest dimensions and it has been intentionally designed that way by the Creator. Our lifetimes here are especially challenging because our souls want to know who we are, by experiencing a simulation that shows us what we are not.
Our ego is part of that density. It is one of the tools that helps us decipher and understand our divine essence as a soul. There can be nothing outside of, or bigger than the force that created everything. So therefore, ego is part of the divine matrix we exist in, and willingly incarnate to.
7. Ego helps us identify toxic behavior from others
Have you ever heard someone say “he’s got such a big ego.” or “they’re so egotistical.”? It’s a bit of a turn off when we see others acting “selfishly.” Other people’s egotistical traits help us analyze our own behavior so we can find more balance within ourselves, and adjust our own behavior accordingly.
8. Ego can help us decipher our moral compass and set boundaries
If we see someone labeled as being “selfish” our ego may try to adjust by putting us into fear mode. You don’t want other people to think you’re selfish. You’d better do something generous and kind quickly. No one can think we are mean and selfish. Is the kind of script Ego might feed us.
If we are acting from a place of awareness, and self-love, we can accept this information from ego and think about how we fit on the spectrum of over-giving to extremely selfish. We can ask ourselves important questions like how our behavior might be affecting others, or if we really think the accused is actually selfish, or if that is just a projection being placed on them.
This can help us develop our own moral compass and set good boundaries. Our Ego can serve as a gateway into self-reflection if utilized properly.
9. Through Ego we can learn self-acceptance
According to Psychology Today, there is no escaping your ego. It is stuck to you for life. Spiritual Masters may have found a way to not be controlled by the ego, or how to observe ego more objectively, but an Ego Death does not mean you never have another ego-driven thought again.
An Ego Death is a temporary moment where we are able to exist in a more enlightened or spiritual state, and put our ego on mute. From this state we are able to understand the construct of ego better, and see how it may be overpowering us in our day to day existence.
An ego left unchecked will talk and talk, and keep you as small as possible for self preservation. So every now and then it’s a good idea to remind yourself that voice is your ego trying to keep you small and safe, and that it doesn’t know best.
Spiritual Masters know how to utilize the ego part of their consciousness to dig deeper into shadow work and shame resilience so that they may themselves better. Our Inner Divinity speaks in a whisper, and our ego is a chatterbox. However the ego helps to anchor our souls to the physical plain, and that is actually a gift.
Its always a good idea to strive for balance over perfection. Chasing an ego-less existence just fuels a Spiritual Superiority complex, and feeds the ego if we are not mindful. There is no reason to feel shame for pocessing a completely normal part of human existence.
